I’m here.

To say that I’ve been frustrated and stressed lately is an understatement. There are moments when I just want to give up… to forget about Hebrew and Arabic… to try to find another way… but I know this is not an option for me right now.

For some reason it’s really been building up, and I’ve been so overwhelmed with it all.  Over our 2 week Pesach break, I was able to relax and devote all my extra time with ministry, which probably made my recent distaste for language studying escalate even more.

I’ve found in my life that when I’m discouraged and frustrated God has a way of putting little bits and pieces of comfort in my path.  

Today in Hebrew class we were discussing the idea of learning languages at a young age.  Our teacher then asked us how many years each of us have been learning Hebrew, to which I was a bit shocked at the answers.

I have been studying Hebrew for 2 years now… 2 LONG years; but out of everyone in my class I’ve been studying Hebrew the least amount of years. There are kids in my class who have been studying 4-10 years, and many of them have grown up in Jewish families, hearing Hebrew spoken all their lives.

I had a similar experience in Arabic class yesterday.  One of the girls in my class told me she’s been studying Arabic for 5 years now! 5 years! Me??? One.

As I sat there listening to the numbers I just thought, “What the heck am I doing in these classes with these groups?  No wonder I’m beyond stressed and mentally exhausted every night. No wonder why my mother is sick of hearing my cries every weekend…”

And then I thought of it in a new light.  Here I am, sitting in class, at the same level as these kids who have been around Hebrew their entire lives. Here I am sitting in Arabic class, reading and writing text, and just a year ago I couldn’t even recognize letters.  I might not get the highest grades on my tests or read at the same fluency as others, but I’M HERE!

I made it this far, so I might as well suck it up and keep on trekking.

Yes, I’m still frustrated…

Yes, I’m still stressed…

Yes, I’m still mentally exhausted……..

But, I’m Here!  And just that is encouragement for me today.

** Could you just say a little prayer for me this week (well, month for that matter)??? I’m really needing them! Thanks, bloggy friends!!!

Dreamland

Last night was the first time I’ve ever dreamt IN HEBREW!

You see, I’ve always had this theory that you are really finally THERE with a language when you start dreaming in it.  I’m not saying that I’m 100% THERE with Hebrew (cuz I don’t know if I’ll ever be there), but it does mean I must be getting closer.

I still remember the first time I dreamt in Portuguese, which was a monumental moment for me, and I do still dream in my love language once in a while.

I might not ace my Hebrew tests, but at least I can have a conversation in my head at night…. how can they compare!?! LOL

unbeknownst to me... while you were sleeping!

School + Ministry = God’s Grace

I made it through the first week back in classes and my first week in the new program….

AND I’M EXHAUSTED!

I have to admit that this week kicked my butt!

Every night I have literally fallen asleep in like 1 minute, and I found myself going to bed earlier and earlier as the week forged ahead. My brain is mentally fried, and it’s only just begun.

Not quite sure how I’m going to manage this for the next 4 months; but God Willing, I hope I can.

I made myself a little equation, which I hung next to my bed, just to remind me that I’m not doing this on my own:

SCHOOL + MINISTRY = GOD’S GRACE

I’m going to need all the grace I can….

Major School Changes, Part 2…

Last year, I blogged about some HUGE changes in my life regarding schooling.  I had applied to the “regular” university at TAU, which meant I would be a Hebrew student instead of an overseas English one…. and I WAS ACCEPTED!  While I am still at the same school and still studying, it means big changes for me.

For one, all my classes will now be taught in Hebrew, not in English.  My language classes have always been taught in Hebrew and Arabic, but the core classes were in English.

Secondly, I will no longer be studying History, as I was before; I will be studying Arabic Literature.  I really am excited about this change, but it also means A LOT more dedication and studying for me.  This semester alone I have 10 hours of Arabic and 6 of Hebrew, purely language classes.  YIKES!

I haven’t been blogging as regularly as I used to, and I fear that with my new courses it might only become more sporadic… but please know that I’m not abandoning it all together.

I’m feeling so many emotions about this whole thing: excited, scared, nervous, hopeful, overwhelmed that I just can’t seem to muster up a post.

I hope I will still have some readers during this process, and just know that I am continually reading your blogs… even if I’m not writing my own. Thanks for sticking with me, all my blogging friends! ❤❤

MAJOR School Changes

This year is going to look a lot different that last. After much deliberation, prayer, and just plain running around trying to do what is necessary to get this done I will will no longer be pursuing a Masters in Middle Eastern History…. instead I will be focusing on Arabic and majoring in Arabic Literature.

I realized throughout last years seminars that I am just not a historian.  No offense to any historians out there, but the dry, emotionless, matter-of-fact way of writing is just not for me.  I need passion. I need emotions. I need feeling when I write, and I cannot do that as a historian.  I am focusing purely on Arabic and the fervor of its literature.

So what exactly does this mean as far as schooling???  For one, it means leaving the Overseas Program with classes in English, and moving into ALL my classes in Hebrew.  It means transferring to the Arabic Studies Department and applying all over again.  It means taking a Hebrew exam in December to qualify for the program.  It also means an intense 3 months of FULL IMMERSION Hebrew and Arabic in preparation for the exam and qualification.

Am I ready? NO

Am I a bit scared? YES

Do I think this is the right path for me? ABSOLUTELY

I could use ALL the prayers you could send my way!  It won’t be an easy road, but when have I ever taken that path???

The woman who follows the crowd will go no further than the crowd.  The woman who walks alone is usually likely to find herself in new places no one has ever seen before~~ Albert Einstein.

Hats on or off?!?

Yesterday during Food Distribution I had a strange little conversation (a term I use very lightly) with a 10-year old boy who likes to come “help” everyday.  He is a a refugee from Eritrea, but likes to hang out with us as much as possible.  Anyways, it was super cold outside, so I was all bundled up…..hat, scarf, gloves etc. which led to our stimulating conversation… (Mind you, I am translating as best as can be done, as the conversation was in Hebrew)

E: Why are you wearing a hat?

Me: Because its cold outside.

E: You like hats?

Me: Yes. I like them.

E: But girls shouldn’t wear hats. It’s not right.

Me: Why not?

E: Its just not good.

Me: But, why not?

E: Only boys wear hats.

Me: Then what can I do? Its cold out.

(to which he just looked at me for a few seconds and shrugged his shoulders with a “what are you talking about” look)

E: Its just not good.

Me: But, why not?

E: Its just not good.

Me: Hmmmmm.

Communication at its finest there!

Arabic

If you haven’t heard yet, I’ve started learning Arabic this past week.  I am now able to write all the letters (all millions of them) and we are starting to form words and sentences now.  I honestly thought Hebrew was difficult, but it seems to be a piece of cake compared to this crazy language.  The beauty of it though, is that they have many similarities, and knowing Hebrew first has helped me tremendously.

Anyways, today at Food Distribution, our little translator came to help out so I was showing her my Arabic workbook and what I was learning.  It was then that I discovered she does not know how to read or write in Arabic, only Hebrew.

Arabic is her mother tongue… her first language…. the one she speaks with her family; YET, she does not know how to read or write.  She reads/writes only Hebrew. And this is true for many of the Sudanese we work with.

It made me think.

Therefore, I decided that a part of the after school program at the youth center will be dedicated to teach these kids how to read and write their own language.

Imagine a foreign American… teaching written Arabic to kids who speak it fluently… in a country that none of us belong to… in Hebrew.

Now if that isn’t just crazy awesome, then I don’t know what is!!!

Goodbye, Kita Bet (ב). I won’t miss you!

Today is the first day of my LAST week in Kita Bet (Level 2 of Hebrew) I’m soooo excited to be finished for many reasons:

1. It was an intensive summer class. 5 hours each day, 5 days a week. I’m just over it!

2. Finishing the class just brings me closer to my break and coming home for a few weeks!

3. Leaving ב (Bet) behind means that I move into ג (Gimel) in the Fall.  I’m moving on up….to the east side. lol

4. Ok. Really I only had 3 reasons, but number 4 is that I’m just REALLY, REALLY happy to be finished!!!

Agada Week

This week in Hebrew class we started reading Agadot (אגדות). An agada is a fairy tale or legend.  Depending on how it is used, it can also be a folk tale or a fable.  Today we read about Andromeda from Greek Mythology, which just happens to take places in Jaffa. (go figure!)

During the rest of the week, each student has to choose an agada and tell the story to the rest of the class IN HEBREW!  It’s our first oral presentation, and I’m a bit nervous about it.  Mine is on Thursday, so at least I have a few days to prepare.

I’ve decided to tell an African Folk Tale about ‘Why Cheetah’s Cheeks Are Stained’. Before I left Africa I bought a book of African Folk Tales relating to all the animals in the bush.  This story is by far my most favorite of them all (not to mention the cheetah is my favorite cat as well).  So, now I need to go practice, practice, practice…..

Mediterranean Monday: Lets debate!

The other day in class we were learning the new verbs: (לדון) ladoon and (לריב) lareev.  Ladoon is “to debate” and lareev is “to argue”.  My Ulpan teacher gave us an explanation that just about cracked me up, and if anyone has lived/been to Israel you will totally understand why.  

She gave this example: In the States, you have debates.  One person gives his/her side of the issue, where he/she stands.  Then the other person says, “I see your point, but I believe that…..”  The debate might go on and on this way, one person politely “seeing” the other persons point of view, then giving her/his own.  This is debate.

But, in Israel, debate does not actually exist AT ALL!  It begins with one person giving his/her point of view, then when it’s the next person’s time to talk, he/she immediately begins “arguing” why it is right or wrong.  The conversation completely skips over the “debating” segment into the (heated) argument segment.  

AND HOW TRUE THIS IS!!!!

Even in Israeli politics there is no debate.  Give it one or two minutes and the politicians are yelling at each other (or having a heated argument as some might suggest).  The “debate” will never happen.  

When I first moved to Israel, I felt like everyone was always yelling at me or each other.  Even the normal speaking tone of voice seemed harsh to me.  I would always tell my Israeli friends, “stop yelling at me when you talk”, and they would always respond, “I’m not yelling!”   It was a bit of a shock at first, but now I have totally accustomed myself to it.  Even yesterday when a guy was yelling  speaking with the bicycle store owner, I found myself thinking nothing of it and totally ignoring him.  

So, don’t ask me why לדון actually exists in the Hebrew language…no one here knows how to use it anyways!

Amen! (אמן)

Did you know that the word “Amen” is Hebrew?  It comes from the verb, leha’meen (להאמין), which means “to believe“.  If you notice the three letters of Amen, (אמן) come at the end of the verb form of  ’to believe’.  This is how Hebrew is…every word and its meaning is connected to the root word.  In this case, amen is connected to the meaning of “to believe”, because you are literally saying at the end of the prayer “I believe all that was said.” 

How many times have you said Amen after a prayer or hearing someone else pray, just because its “what you say at the end”?  Do you realize that you are actually stating the fact that you believe or agree with all that has been said?  

I think amen has become such a “habit” word, we don’t even consider what we are saying.  We blurt it out so we can hurry on with our meal.  We say it because everyone else is in the congregation is.  

Next time you say “amen“, make sure you really believe in what you are “amening” to.  Remember what you’re agreeing with before you “amen” it.  And don’t forget….

You’re Speaking Hebrew!!!!

From the mouth of a child

Today I was humbled. 

There is a young Sudanese girl, 10/11 yrs. old who comes each week for Food Distribution for her mother.  She is the cutest thing and since she is in school here, her Hebrew is super good.  Today she brought her brother with her and I asked her (in Hebrew), “Is this your brother?” and she said, “yes“.  So, I said to him “Shalom!” And he said “Shalom” back.  Then he turns to his sister and asks her (in Hebrew), “does she know Hebrew?” (referring to me)  And the girl replied back, “Yes.  Just not good Hebrew.”  

There really isn’t a response to that, so I looked at her, smiled, and said “Toda raba!!!” (thanks so much).  She just smiled back.  Oh, the joy of honesty from a child!!!

The Writing’s on the Wall

מנא מנא תקל ופרםין

(Mene Mene Tekel Uparseen)

My mind has been stewing on this passage for a couple weeks now.  It was right there in front of them. They could see it with their eyes, yet their hearts were not able to understand.  Even the scholars and wise men could not make meaning of four little Hebrew words. Perfect knowledge of Arabic wasn’t even clueing them in. Yet, there was one who knew, one who was set apart with his eyes and heart wide open….

….are we Daniels of our time or are we looking at the writing on the wall as they did, in confusion? The clues are all here for us. Are our eyes and hearts wide open to see and hear the truth or are we leaning on our own wisdom and knowledge?  

מנא מנא תקל ופרםין

(Daniel chapter 5)  דניאל 5

Yesababa

The blending of two foreign words to form a Hebrew one, thats the charm of external cultural influence here.  

There is a channel on TV called Yesababa.  It is like the Family Channel in the states, playing kids shows and family movies etc. but all in Hebrew.  On all the movie channels, all the films are still in English, but with Hebrew subtitles. I discovered this channel not too long ago, and I really like it.  For one, its all in Hebrew: forcing me to listen and pay more attention; and for another: its just good stuff on there.

So where does Yesababa come from? Yes is obviously an English word, and also happens to be the name of the Cable Company that runs the TV shows here. Sababa is an imported word from Arabic, meaning cool, awesome, its all good, type thing. Its become so popular in Israel, that most don’t even know its not a Hebrew word.  

Blend the two words together and you have Yesababa…the cool TV channel that your whole family can enjoy! (and me too!)

Mediterranean Monday: Ulpan

 

My Ulpan Book

You might have heard me mention going to Ulpan in other segments, so today I am going to explain what it is.  Ulpan is the educational center where you go to learn Hebrew.  Just like in regular schools, there are levels in which you learn. Since I was a total beginner, I started of in kita aleph (like a Kindergarten class).  I didn’t know how to read, write, speak, or even recognize the letters so we started off at the very beginning.  My class is Monday-Wednesdays, 8:am-1:pm…5 hours of intensity and brain drainage.

Ulpans are pretty unique to Israel in that they are the only institutions that offer Hebrew lessons.  It is the hub of foreigners, especially new immigrants just making citizenship.  The government actually pays for new immigrants to take Ulpan classes, in promoting the Hebrew language. In my class alone we are represented by many different countries: Russia, Germany, Bulgaria, Hungary, Japan, Italy, France, The US, Brazil, and I’m sure I’m missing a couple (but you get the point.)

One things I’ve loved about learning at Ulpan, along with the actual Hebrew language, has been the cultural aspects.  My teacher is so awesome in making sure we learn about every Jewish holiday that comes along, and Jewish traditions as well. She incorporates the history of the Jewish people (from the Torah) to the history of Israel.  We learn about different places within Israel and where to go and what to see.  We have learned songs that Jewish children learn growing up, and even had computer lessons to learn the keyboard. Overall, its been such a great tool for me.

I say this because this week is my last week of Ulpan!  I debated on whether to go on to the next level or not, but in the end I realized that I have all the tools I need….I just have to go out and start using them (aka: speaking in Hebrew)  I will miss going to Ulpan and especially my teacher (the best Ulpan teacher in the world!!!).  I have met some great people in my class and it will be weird not seeing them every week.  I owe a lot to my experience at Ulpan, and now I can officially say that I can read, write, and speak in Hebrew….and it can only get better!