Ironically, today my devotional was called Overcoming Lonliness. Though it said many things, this one in particular, caught my attention:
Probably most of us at one time or another know the painful pangs of loneliness. We were created for relationships and without sufficient love and human companionship we “limp along in the shadows of life” starving for human love, warmth and connection.
I just happened to read in Proverbs 13:12, “Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life.” So, putting the two together brings me to my situation. I do NOT want to as it was said, “limp along in the shadows of life”…what a miserable state to be in. I also do not want a sick heart…which comes from many things, but one being hope deferred. As you know the JOY of being single (capital letters for the sarcastic emphasis), here we have a bit of a dilemma. Not wanting to limp along, but also not wanting a sick heart….so I ask myself: which is the lesser of the two?
Putting my hope in finding that human companship in order to find the love, warmth, and connection that we are created for; while at the same time knowing that if this hope is deferred it could lead to a sick heart. Or giving up hope that you will find that in order to salvage your heart; while experiencing the lack of love and companionship. I have experienced both, and I am honestly torn at which is worse.
Sure, in a perfect world you hope for it and when it comes you end up with neither a sick heart or the pangs of lonliness…but as we all know it is not a perfect world. So I have but one option….
leave it all up to God. After all…I just seem to make a mess out of things anyways and then I am right back where I started from.