Tough Love

One aspect of life I struggle with is unconditional love, or more specifically showing that type of love.  Being back home, I am seeing first hand the issues my parents have been going through with my younger brother and sister. Its easy to love family when you are miles away and across the world; prayer is really the only thing you can actively do.  When you are in the mix of it though, its a bit different.  Its so frustrating to look at the lifestyle my younger sister is living, when I disapprove of so much of what she does.  I get so upset and angry at the choices she makes, knowing how it can affect her present and future.  If I try to say anything to her, she gets mad, defensive, and yells back.  If I say nothing, I feel like I’m not doing my sisterly duty of trying to reach her.  Its rough.  A huge part of me likes living so far away, so I don’t have to get involved…but while I’m here, how do I show love to her?  Its the question that brings so much controversy into many debates today: How do you show love to the person without condoning the particular behavior?  Its something I’m trying to come to grips with.


About Maureen Hochdorf

Writer. Editor. High Techi. Non-Profit Founder. Traveler. Sports Lover. Star Wars Fanatic. Tel Aviver. Michigander.... View all posts by Maureen Hochdorf

4 responses to “Tough Love

  • alece

    i’m experiencing something similar, being back home with my older brother.

    i have no answers, only similar questions and likehearted prayers.

  • Warren

    Sometimes we have to just sit and listen. I know you’re trying to help, but sometime people don’t want, nor do they think they need help. This is what I do with my teenage daughter. I bait her into discussions and ask for her reactions and I give her scenarios and real life examples of the good and bad. After we talk I think we both feel better. Now, sometimes you have to yell to let them know you love them!

  • Steve

    Signora: Mo of the Righteous Weezle 🙂

    Tell truth or ask a question ? ? ?

    If we do not step up to the plate and help reinforce or confirm the validity of the Momma & Pappa viewpoint, then we would be derelict in our duty like you say and who else would there be to try and show the way… I have found the approach of showing ones hand or better yet letting ones heart be shown serendipitously, to be the most gentle & loving in a Irma or Irmo relationship – as Warren has well stated…

    I should think that such interactions with Famiglia is much like Evangelism… Prayer, Love, approach, attitude, Divine guiding & timing would be paramount for a fruitful or healthy interaction… Most of us cannot make anyone believe anything, whether it is true or not. So, if we tell someone many truths ( our truths ) and many real world consequences resulting from their behavior, beliefs or choices we can oft times turn them off or hmmm hehehe passionately irritate them lets say…

    I have heard it said that if you tell someone a Truth ( like telling a devout Muslim that Jesus / Isa is God and Muhammad is wrong ) many times you will make them angry but If you can enter into a conversation by “ Asking them questions “ about what they believe or what they practice and then enter into dialogue about they’re beliefs and or practices ( like asking if Jesus / Isa is special and unique since the Koran & the Bible both teach that He is the only man ever born of a Virgin ) then you may help lead them into personally forming a new understanding or perhaps elevating an old perspective as they work through the questions on such things and progress from there in a similar vein…

    Getting to mutually talk through the progression, ultimate outcome or end results from actions or choices made often brings to light the futility or undesirable consequences which those choices will yield in ones life… When one becomes aware of how these paths will end then what more can we do beyond bringing it back to Deus and asking Him to work on they’re heart and mind still… Well unless you happen to have a bunch of chords handy and you are most zealous for Isa & His house ;o) Wehahahahehehe

    What excellent experiences Jesus has prepared for you in advance of your being :o) Al Humdulillah

    Obrigado for your reflections – – – Deep thoughts from the Flock :o)-

    Fica com Deus ! ! !



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