Frustration Morphed

I must admit… I’ve been frustrated! Sometimes I feel like my calling is also a curse.

No one wants to come visit me at my place… I can’t find a roommate who isn’t afraid of my neighborhood… And don’t even get me started on other circumstances going on these couple of weeks.

Like I said, frustrating!

There are moments when I get a bit upset with all the talk of reaching out to those with the greatest need, but when it comes down to it, for most people its really from the comfort of their own homes.  Sure, its easy to go into the dark areas for a day of outreach, then hop back in the car and head home to an easier lifestyle. If we are called to be the LIGHT in the dark, how can we do that if we’re not willing to actually BE in the dark?

Yes, I know that not everyone is called to live in the worse of the worst areas… not everyone is called to the same people groups or the same neighborhoods as I am; but for once it would be nice if just SOMEONE else was!  For once it would be nice to not feel like I’m alone in this calling, or this darkness.

Then there are moments, like this morning, when I woke up and embraced my calling.  Knowing that without a shadow of a doubt this is EXACTLY where God wants me.  Realizing that no matter if a thousand people are called to my neighborhood or just me, THIS is my home.

Yes, outside its rough… yes, its disgusting… yes, I’m surrounded by drugs, prostitution, and worldly rubbish… but inside is completely the opposite.  I love my apartment!  I feel safe, secure, and loved here.  I absolutely know that it has been a gift from God from the very beginning.

So, in the midst of all the frustration and challenges of life, this morning I was able to appreciate my life for what it really is.  I might be physically walking these streets alone, but spiritually I NEVER am!

About Maureen Hochdorf

Writer. Editor. High Techi. Non-Profit Founder. Traveler. Sports Lover. Star Wars Fanatic. Tel Aviver. Michigander.... View all posts by Maureen Hochdorf

11 responses to “Frustration Morphed

  • bahava

    amen!! so proud of you for being a LIGHT in those dark places and praying for you in the midst of the fight! keep pressing on. 🙂

  • Char

    Keep it up, friend! You are an inspiration. I hope to at least come visit you one day… Miss ya!

    • Jared

      I guess it’s just in people’s nature to feel secure in their own places. It’s nothing personal.
      Keep doing what you feel is right and try not to be frustrated.

      • Jared

        Blackbird singing in the dead of night
        Take these broken wings and learn to fly
        All your life
        You were only waiting for this moment to arise

        Black bird singing in the dead of night
        Take these sunken eyes and learn to see
        all your life
        you were only waiting for this moment to be free

        Blackbird fly, Blackbird fly
        Into the light of the dark black night.

        Blackbird fly, Blackbird fly
        Into the light of the dark black night.

        Blackbird singing in the dead of night
        Take these broken wings and learn to fly
        All your life
        You were only waiting for this moment to arise,
        You were only waiting for this moment to arise,
        You were only waiting for this moment to arise

    • moweezle

      u know ur welcome ANY time!!!

  • chrystiecole

    Oh! I think of you so often and have missed chatting with you. I am continually in awe of you. Praying for you!

  • @ngie

    I can honestly say that if they made us switch lives for a week starting tomorrow I think I would have a nervous breakdown and they would find me crying my eyes out curled in a corner hanging on to your bunny for dear life.

    It would some major prep time to get me to a point where I could “hack-it” living the life of Maureen Milham.

    Yet, you don’t just get by, you shine! You are amazing! Your life is nothing short of miraculous! The hope that you carry with you into the darkest of darkness is admirable and wonderful and spectacular!

    Thank you for being honest. Thank you for sharing your heart. Thank you for not giving into the dark but walking in the light.

    Much love!
    Your friend,

    • moweezle

      and I can honestly say that if I had to switch places with you I would never make it! With all that you have got going PLUS being a full-time mom (of lots of kids may I add) and an awesome wife and a wonderful blogger/writer… I would probably have to come home and sleep a month just to catch up!!! Love you!

  • Judi

    Mo, What a blessing to be your young age and to have fully grasped that GOD is our refuge and strength. To have His peace in the midst of trial and tribulation is our Lord’s sweetest blessing! Persevere, you are never alone. Love and prayers, Judi

  • Joseph DuLaney

    Mo, I think it takes a very very special person to do what you do and if most/if any, of us, walked in your shoes for a day, we would freak out.
    I for sure as hell know I would. Heck I am not even good in the rougher side of Nashville let alone a foreign country.

    Here is what I can tell you though. We all love you for it. We love you for what you do because you are a special soul with a special gift most of us will never possess. A day does not go by where we do not think of you and what you are doing and all wish we had in us what you do.

    You are a beacon my friend. A beacon of what we all should aspire to be.

  • Theresa

    If I was there I would come and live with you. Then you would kick me out because I would keep you up talking all the time. I would want to know so much more then you could ever explain. The Hows, Whens, the What Nexts.

    I am in awe and somewhat envious of the life that you lead. You do something, you are His Light in a dark place. It isn’t easy and I know that at times you must be lonely and miss your family. But seriously you DO, I stay.

    If you would ever get a mailing address I might overflow your mailbox with silly letters and cards. Between you moving and my friend in Taiwan being on hiatus back in the states…I have internation stamps just sitting here. 😦

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