I must admit… I’ve been frustrated! Sometimes I feel like my calling is also a curse.
No one wants to come visit me at my place… I can’t find a roommate who isn’t afraid of my neighborhood… And don’t even get me started on other circumstances going on these couple of weeks.
Like I said, frustrating!
There are moments when I get a bit upset with all the talk of reaching out to those with the greatest need, but when it comes down to it, for most people its really from the comfort of their own homes. Sure, its easy to go into the dark areas for a day of outreach, then hop back in the car and head home to an easier lifestyle. If we are called to be the LIGHT in the dark, how can we do that if we’re not willing to actually BE in the dark?
Yes, I know that not everyone is called to live in the worse of the worst areas… not everyone is called to the same people groups or the same neighborhoods as I am; but for once it would be nice if just SOMEONE else was! For once it would be nice to not feel like I’m alone in this calling, or this darkness.
Then there are moments, like this morning, when I woke up and embraced my calling. Knowing that without a shadow of a doubt this is EXACTLY where God wants me. Realizing that no matter if a thousand people are called to my neighborhood or just me, THIS is my home.
Yes, outside its rough… yes, its disgusting… yes, I’m surrounded by drugs, prostitution, and worldly rubbish… but inside is completely the opposite. I love my apartment! I feel safe, secure, and loved here. I absolutely know that it has been a gift from God from the very beginning.
So, in the midst of all the frustration and challenges of life, this morning I was able to appreciate my life for what it really is. I might be physically walking these streets alone, but spiritually I NEVER am!