Category Archives: My Musings

Who am I?

At any given day I am many different things to many different people. The role we play in life is consistently changing, and finding a balance isn’t always the easiest task to achieve.

Sometimes I struggle with the question of “Who am I?” because the truth is, it’s not always a simple black and white issue.

I can wake up in the morning feeling moody and crabby, and the next morning feeling full of hope and joyous… but that’s not Who I Am… that’s How I Feel.

Take away all the mood swings, all the good and bad days, put me in Africa, South America, or the Middle East, and the core of me should still remain the same.

So Who am I???  Take a look:

Ur turn… Who are you???

(I made this fun word puzzle at Wordle. Check it out and if you make your own I’d love to see it!)


Feeling Missed

Over the past couple of months I’ve been taking a break from many “regulars” in my life… blogging, social media, certain relationships, and Chinese Food.  Yes, I just said Chinese Food.  

BACKGROUND: There is a little dive of a restaurant (if you can even call it that) in my neighborhood, run by a Chinese family who also live here.  Once I found their place almost 2 years ago, I have become somewhat of a staple there… they even know my order each time I come it. [So you don’t think I never try anything new, there’s really only 4 items to choose from when you order] 🙂 

Our conversations when I’m there are always a bit limited, as they speak Chinese and only a little Hebrew, but we manage to survive somehow with our Hebrew/Sign Language system.  The father, who speaks the least amount of Hebrew, always smiles and asks me to sit down while I wait…. while the daughter usually cooks up my meal.

PRESENT DAY: It’s been about 2 months since I have gone down and ordered Chinese.  Blame it on my “summer budget” but I haven’t eaten out in forever, including my Chinese Take Out.  Today I decided that I really wanted some Chinese so I walked my butt down there.

As soon as I arrived I was greeted by the father, who immediately said: “Ahhhhhh, How are you? It’s been such a long time since we saw you!”  He pulled out the chair and asked me to sit.  He then asked me : “Number 3?” to which I replied, “Of course“.  The daughter came out, said hi, while the son (who speaks the most Hebrew) and I discussed living in Israel, working, and the Chinese singer who was on the TV (who I still have no idea what her name is, even though he told me a million times).  

After my brief re-encounter with my Chinese friends I left with my noodles and a smile on my face.  It’s weird to be feeling like I was actually missed by a few people that I barely know, but I honestly felt that way as I walked home….

And it was nice feeling missed.


Not quite sure why…

Every time I sit down to write a post, I end up staring blankly at the empty text box.

It’s not as if I have nothing to say… I always have something to say… but writing about it just isn’t happening.

So much is going on in my world, in my head, in my heart. But not in my writing.

Not quite sure why…  

Anyone else been there???


Our Generation

I was skyping the other day with my childhood friend, Jodi, who just had her first baby… which led us to the topic of raising children… which led us to reminiscing about our childhood.

We both agree that we were soooo lucky to have been born when we were, still the “simpler” times, but leading into the “technology” era. Kids today have NOOOO idea what it was like without cell phones, email, SMS-ing, X-Box.. etc.  And while all those things have made our lives a bit easier (and lazier) we couldn’t resist wishing that our children could experience childhood as we did:

  • When EVERY kid either walked to school or rode a bus… no parents driving them to and from school.
  • Running home after school to ride bikes with your friends around the neighborhood and play kickball in the yard, until you knew it was time to come home for dinner.
  • Rollerskating in the garage, pretending to be at a roller rink, with music booming from a boombox the size of a tire.
  • Spending your Friday night at the actual Roller Rink.
  • Making tents in the backyard out of blankets draped over the clothesline.
  • SPUD. (if you don’t know that game, you definitely didn’t grow up in my generation)
  • Spending 2 hours of your night out, driving around looking for your friends, because there was no way to contact them once your left the house. (but having a blast while you did it!)
While I could go on and on with my memories, the point is that even though we are only one generation away, we are truly WORLDS away… and while technology is a great thing, and I LOVE it, I also long for the simpler days of the past as well… when we got all our exercise from just living and being kids! 
Here I am feeding the ducks in the park with my dad (who will just LOVE that I posted this pic!), my grandma, and my aunt. (Or are we being attacked by them?!?)
Any special childhood memories of the simple times??? 

Fitting in

Fitting in.

Most people relate “fitting in” to the teen-age or middle-school-age years when finding your crowd can come with many challenges. Being a former middle-school teacher, I’ve seen my fare share of kids trying to change and be someone they’re not in order to fit in with a group they want to be in. Not a fun time!

Fortunately, I never really struggled with the “fitting in” issue in school (not that I didn’t have other issues) but that wasn’t one of them.

Unfortunately, I struggle with it more now, as an adult.

It’s not for a lack of friends, cuz to be honest I have some GREAT ones! It’s also not for a lack of wanting to be in a group that I’m not in either…. the truth is: many times I just have a difficult time relating to others.

Living around the world in various cultures is a tremendous calling, but it’s also changed me beyond words.  Each new place has impacted me in new ways and changed my outlook and actions toward life, as well as changing me on the inside.  I’ve taken treasures from each culture, which translates into me becoming a “melting pot” of sorts.

While all this is wonderful and great, here’s the problem… I never 100% fit in.

When I go home to The States, I find it difficult to relate to others, as the “American” in me has dwindled down to less and less over the years.  Sure, I still love my country and the Detroit Red Wings (had to get that one in, Joseph) but there’s only so far you can go with these topics.

I could give examples from each place: Brazil, Africa, Israel… but it boils down to this… I rarely feel like I really fit in anywhere, and sometimes it’s a lonely, difficult cross to bare.

Although there probably aren’t too many people here on earth who truly understand me, I KNOW there is someone up there who does! And Someday…. well, it’s one place I know I’ll fit in 🙂


What if?!?

I was looking at some pictures from a trip to Arizona a friend had recently took; and as I was scrolling through them, I briefly thought,

What if?

It wasn’t a “what if” that makes you long for the past or wish things would have turned out different, it was just a simple-let-my-mind-wander-to-the-scenario of, “what if“.

Growing up in Michigan, I always aspired to go somewhere warmer.  I knew I didn’t want to stay in Michigan for college, so I began looking at possibilites. I chose Arizona State University.

While I was there, I honestly thought I would spend the rest of my life in Scottsdale.  Get married. Have a cute little family. Live in North Scottsdale in the school district where I was teaching.

But God had other plans. BIGGER plans. BETTER plans.

My “what if” scenario looked very different than what my real life has become…and I honestly couldn’t even imagine my life if my “what if” had turned out to have been my “what is“.

No, I’m not married. No, I don’t have a cute little family. No, I’m not teaching anymore.

BUT, I have Brasil. I have Africa. I have Israel. I have all the people in my life that I would have never known and loved had I never left Scottsdale.

And in a strange way, I DID end up living in the desert…. just on the other side of the world.

What if?!?


750 minutes

As I was sitting on the bus this morning (Bus 27 be exact) I figured out how many minutes I actually spend on this bus weekly: 750.

For all you mathematician’s out there, that equals 12.5 hours a week.

50 hours (3,000 minutes) a month.

200 hours (12,000 minutes) a semester.

That’s A LOT of wasted time.

Just sayin’

(So tell me… how much time to you spend in transit to your job/school/etc.?  Any empathizers out there?)


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