Tag Archives: Stress

It’s JULY?!?

I know… I’ve been the worst blogger ever lately! I wrote once in June and sporadically in May, and I have a feeling July might be looking about the same. 😦 Here’s why:

* I have my Arabic Final July 13th…. and I’m a bit stressed and overwhelmed about it.

* I have to renew my visa at the end of the month, which has already caused me some headaches and trips to immigration.

* I’m trying to plan and put together a VBS outreach for the month of August. By myself. In Hebrew. Enough said.

Hopefully when I make it through this month I’ll have lots of good reports to write about….. stay tuned 🙂

I’m here.

To say that I’ve been frustrated and stressed lately is an understatement. There are moments when I just want to give up… to forget about Hebrew and Arabic… to try to find another way… but I know this is not an option for me right now.

For some reason it’s really been building up, and I’ve been so overwhelmed with it all.  Over our 2 week Pesach break, I was able to relax and devote all my extra time with ministry, which probably made my recent distaste for language studying escalate even more.

I’ve found in my life that when I’m discouraged and frustrated God has a way of putting little bits and pieces of comfort in my path.  

Today in Hebrew class we were discussing the idea of learning languages at a young age.  Our teacher then asked us how many years each of us have been learning Hebrew, to which I was a bit shocked at the answers.

I have been studying Hebrew for 2 years now… 2 LONG years; but out of everyone in my class I’ve been studying Hebrew the least amount of years. There are kids in my class who have been studying 4-10 years, and many of them have grown up in Jewish families, hearing Hebrew spoken all their lives.

I had a similar experience in Arabic class yesterday.  One of the girls in my class told me she’s been studying Arabic for 5 years now! 5 years! Me??? One.

As I sat there listening to the numbers I just thought, “What the heck am I doing in these classes with these groups?  No wonder I’m beyond stressed and mentally exhausted every night. No wonder why my mother is sick of hearing my cries every weekend…”

And then I thought of it in a new light.  Here I am, sitting in class, at the same level as these kids who have been around Hebrew their entire lives. Here I am sitting in Arabic class, reading and writing text, and just a year ago I couldn’t even recognize letters.  I might not get the highest grades on my tests or read at the same fluency as others, but I’M HERE!

I made it this far, so I might as well suck it up and keep on trekking.

Yes, I’m still frustrated…

Yes, I’m still stressed…

Yes, I’m still mentally exhausted……..

But, I’m Here!  And just that is encouragement for me today.

** Could you just say a little prayer for me this week (well, month for that matter)??? I’m really needing them! Thanks, bloggy friends!!!

Terrible Week Update

First of all I want to thank all of your for your encouraging comments and prayers!!! If you think leaving a short memo doesn’t help, think again!!! It soooooooo helped me get through the week!

Here’s a few updates on the situation from my last post:

1. The papers: I finished the most important one in 4 days!!! I still have 2 more to write, but the stress of writing them has lifted a bit.

2. My dog: Its been over a week since he disappeared, and I’m finally coming to terms that he probably won’t be back.  I still haven’t put away his food or water bowl, but my heart is healing from the loss.

3. The attack: I’ve actually had a couple of people offer to get me pepper spray and go with me to the police station to request a taser.

4: Hebrew/Arabic: I took my Final for Hebrew and I think I did ok.  It was difficult, but its over!!! Arabic is in a few weeks, so I’m still focusing on that.

This past weekend was a good one for me.  I spent time with friends, relaxed a little, and prepared myself mentally for what coming ahead.  I’m still a bit emotional, but then again…. I’m a GIRL!  That’s our thing, being a bit emotional 😉

Love all of you!!!!

Is it over yet???

To say this has been a difficult week for me is an understatement!  I feel like I’ve been to hell and back and I’m trying to see the light at the end of the tunnel.  I’m trying to remain positive, but I’ll be perfectly honest…. I’m not always succeeding. I feel like its just one thing after the other, and I am running low on strength.

Some of it has to do with the stress I’m under with these papers from school (which, I will admit… its my own fault that I’ve left them to the last minute), but its much more than that.  There are moments, living where I live, that are even a bit too overwhelming for me to handle.

A couple of days ago I actually punched a guy.  He followed me home (at 6:30 am) and tried to get inside.  After already have been grabbed by someone else the day before I just lost it.  I punched him, shoved him away from the door, and slammed it in his face.  Though I know it was self-defense and the right thing to do, it was emotional and stressful for me.

Then the next day, after a serious of events that I won’t get into, my dog disappeared.  It was my roommate’s fault, and I’m trying to show grace to her, but its HARD!!! I’m extremely upset and mad, and I feel like I’ve lost the one comfort I had each day.  On top of that, its finals week and I have my Hebrew Final tomorrow and Arabic coming up after that.

My emotions are raw, my stress level is rising, and I’m just spent!  I’ve cried just about every day this week, for some reason or another, and I need grace.  If you could shout out a little prayer for me today, I would be sooooooo grateful!  I know these things are all temporary, but I just wanna know…. Is it over yet????

Brain Blockage

As you’ve probably noticed, I haven’t been writing much in the past month.  I could use all the excuses of being busy with work, school, life etc., (which are all true) but the biggest truth is this:

I just don’t know what to write!

I have NEVER had problems writing before; usually its a matter of what NOT to write.  But I’m suffering with a major brain blockage!

And the worst part is that its not just blogging…. its stemming from the THREE MAJOR PAPERS I have to write for school.  I’m down to my last few weeks, and sadly I must admit I haven’t started on ANY of them!

It’s not like I don’t want to.  I sit down to write and nothing comes.  I research topics I think about discussing and nothing feels right.

I’m Frustrated. Stressed. Annoyed. and most of all Wordless!

How do I get over this Brain Blockage????

Moving day… Again?!?

Last years moving day

It’s already been a week since my last post, yet I feel like I wrote it yesterday.  The same can be said for life right now…its just flying by!  It’s been a crazy, busy week.  There are many factors to this, but the biggest is: I’M MOVING THIS WEEKEND!

Preparations for the move have been causing a bit of stress and anxiety, but what is life without a little excitement?!?

  • As of this moment (Friday morning at 11:28) the workers are JUST beginning to paint.  They still have to install the gas lines and the bathroom amenities.  I move in Sunday. Tomorrow is Shabat. I’m a little nervous.
  • Since I’m a foreigner, I have to pay everything with cash.  This means lots of trips to ATM’s and wouldn’t you know it, this week none of them seemed to work! :/
  • (I won’t even go into detail about the hell I’ve been experiencing with my credit card issues)
  • PACKiNG! … enuf said there

But all these things don’t hold a candle to the one thing I hate most about moving. Since its only a trip across the city, I am just sorta putting stuff in boxes and bags, not really caring about organization.  (My dad would NOT be pleased if he saw my methods this time.) After all, I will just be unpacking everything the next day. Noooo, the one thing I hate most is the cleaning.  Its a never-ending process when moving.

You have to clean the old place before you leave….. you have to clean the new place before you unpack stuff… and you have to clean everywhere else that you’ve been neglecting throughout the year (like under the bed).  YUCK! I hate it!

So, this has been what I’ve been doing with my free time this past week.

What do u hate most about moving?

A Freak-out Thanksgiving!

I just wanted everyone to know that I’m freaking out a little on the inside about Thanksgiving this year (which we are celebrating on Fri. instead of Thurs… we don’t have Thurs. off here)

This is my 1st time EVER hosting and cooking Thanksgiving dinner, and I’m nervous.  Add to that my turkey-experience today, and I’m almost at full-blown freak-out mode.

We bought our turkey at the shuk (Israeli market), which does not normally sell whole turkey, so I was pleasantly surprised when I found out we were able to get it.

The good news is that they DID de-feather and be-head him….the bad news is they did NOT do a good job.  After my bloody bus ride home, lugging him with me across the city, and leaving a blood trail on the floor, I put him in the sink to wash him off. This is when I noticed that the neck was indeed included in the deal (stuffed inside) and there were remnants of feathers all over.

AHHHH! Let the freak-out begin. My first Thanksgiving cooking, and I have to begin by pulling out feather pieces.  I will update you with pictures and details on how it went…. until then

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!!

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