Sometimes you have to take baby steps in order to reach a giant goal. I’ve been taking them for a while now, and finally I feel like I’ve taken a leap instead of a step.
It’s been since 2000 that I’ve lived abroad, working with various ministries and organizations, and its been a trip! I’ve had my ups and downs, worked with some amazing people and some…. well, to put it nicely, some not so amazing people. All of them though, have helped shape and mold me into the person I’ve become. I’ve been able to see leadership in its finest, and glean from them. I’ve seen leadership in its weakest, and realized what NOT to do. Either way, its been an adventure.
And now I’m ready (or at least I hope I am) to begin an adventure of my own. Yep! I’m breaking forward. I’ve talked about this before, my vision and goals, but now its starting to come to fruition. Though there is still SOOOO much more to do, my leap of faith has been taken. The journey of my ministry, Shine International, has begun!
I’m so excited about what’s to come, and I wanted to share with all of you, faithful bloggers and friends, my joy. The website for Shine is officially up and running, with lots of additions to come. Please, take a minute to go check it out:
As you can see, I will be blogging from there with ministry stuff, but also continue to blog from here with more personal stuff. I would love for you to follow along on both…I’ll make it interesting
Lastly, I MUST publicly thank a couple of amazing guys who helped me with the website process. First, my dear friend Spence, who gave me the theme. If you don’t already follow him, you must….he’s AMAZING!!! Also, a new friend, Jon Webb, who did the “technical CSS” stuff of getting it set up. You two guys are such a blessing!!!
Here we go…. step by step! Thanks for joining me on the journey!!!
I’ve been spending time looking at places for the youth center, but to be quite honest its been torture. I haven’t found one single place that I would even consider, yet alone want to live in as well. Today I even went inside a place with no floors… NO FLOORS! There were just piles of dirt all around, and I’m talking about the 3rd floor no less.
After seeing this place, and being horrified by the thought of living there, it struck me…. There are thousands of people living there right now. Most of them are refugees and foreign workers, who can’t afford NOT to live in places without floors. They do not have the luxury of saying ‘NO’ when they are given a place like that. And it humbled me.
This is why I must find a suitable place for the center. I’m determined to make this place a beautiful respite for these kids…. a place to get away from what they experience day to day…. a place they can feel comfortable and at home in.
And though its frustrating and painful, looking and dump after dump, I have to keep on looking. I have to believe that somewhere out there there IS a Needle in a Haystack! I just need the endurance to find it.
Yesterday during Food Distribution I had a strange little conversation (a term I use very lightly) with a 10-year old boy who likes to come “help” everyday. He is a a refugee from Eritrea, but likes to hang out with us as much as possible. Anyways, it was super cold outside, so I was all bundled up…..hat, scarf, gloves etc. which led to our stimulatingconversation… (Mind you, I am translating as best as can be done, as the conversation was in Hebrew)
E: Why are you wearing a hat?
Me: Because its cold outside.
E: You like hats?
Me: Yes. I like them.
E: But girls shouldn’t wear hats. It’s not right.
Me: Why not?
E: Its just not good.
Me: But, why not?
E: Only boys wear hats.
Me: Then what can I do? Its cold out.
(to which he just looked at me for a few seconds and shrugged his shoulders with a “what are you talking about” look)
I love games! One of my favorite things to do when I go home to visit my family is play lots of games. We’ve always been a game-playing family…all the way back to when I was little. Taboo. Spoons. Trivia Pursuit. Sorry. Life. Scene It. Scategories. Apples to Apples. Uno. Rummy. Mouse Trap (remember that one?) It’s how we roll.
I haven’t really played that many games since I moved to Israel, but I’m hoping that will change soon. One thing I want to include at the youth center is games. I want to teach these kids all the games that I grew up playing. I want them to experience the joy and laughter that come from getting together during game time. I’m hoping it will help build relationships.
So here’s my challenge for anyone out there that loves games as much as I do: If you have any games you don’t use anymore or have outgrown or just plain got sick of, please consider sending them my way. They don’t have to be in perfect condition, or even brand new (though I would hope all the pieces would be there), just able to be enjoyed by others. I understand shipping can get expensive, so even anything small and light would be amazing. Something is better than nothing.
I will send my shipping address to anyone who is interesting in helping….just let me know.
Oh, and by the way….. what are some of your families favorite games???
Let me first make a blanket statement: I really do love facebook. I love that it is such an easy way to keep in touch with all my faraway friends. I love how I can see friends’ pictures’ that I would never see otherwise. I love that I am back in touch with friends I haven’t talked to in ages. And, I love that pretty much my entire graduating class from high school is on facebook. I’m amazed when I find out where they’ve been in life or what they’ve been through. It’s been fun catching up.
So with all this reuniting of long-lost friendships comes a crazy phenomenon that I would never have imagined: I”m being dream-haunted.
I am not kidding you when I say that for the past few weeks or so, I have had dreams every night about people from my past. Don’t get me wrong…I adore my friends from high school, but dreaming about them every night is just a bit weird. I feel like I’ve been thrown back into the past as if no time has elapsed at all. Its been 17 years since I graduated high school, yet when I go into that REM stage, its like were just hanging out yesterday.
I’m sure Freud would have something to say about my crazy dreams of late, but I think its just an overload in my brain of my past colliding with my present… the person I was and the person I’ve become… the gelling together of two completely different stages of my life.
Louco!
Anyone else out there being dream-haunted or am I the only one infected???
I told myself back in October that if I could JUST make it through this semester… and well, I did! There were definitely many challenges and obstacles throughout these past 4 months: boring lectures, Hebrew, Arabic, ministry, the swine flu, family issues, Thanksgiving, Christmas, Chanukah, relationship ups and downs, loosing a dear friend, and everything else the comes in between.
And although I keep telling myself the hard part is over, I know it’s really just begun…
What’s next?
Only writing three 20-30 page research papers for each topic by June. Urgh. But, for today, I’m taking a little Gaga advice and doing something I haven’t done in a LONG time….. AND JUST DANCE… gonna be ok…d-d-d-dance!
There are few people that become a part of your life and remain there until the end. Those special few that know each and every secret you possess….those special few that you can call on no matter what, and they will answer…those special few that love you unconditionally, regardless of what you’ve done or will do.
For me, Katherine was one of those special ones.
We met while I was living in Brazil, I cannot even remember which year, and instantaneously we became the best of friends. We’ve been through so much together since then…boyfriend breakups, heartaches, traveling, weddings (one of them being hers), road trips, laughter, joy, and all the other things that accompanies friendships.
Every time I came home to the States on furlough, Katherine was one of the first people I would call. Just hearing her voice on the phone and her crazy, contagious laugh would brighten my day. She was one of the first who would always send me notes, cards, and packages in the mail. She always told me how much she loved me and was proud of me. She encouraged me with scriptures all the time. I loved her more than words can express.
Katherine passed away from breast and bone cancer this past week, only 29 years old, and 5 months pregnant. It was a sudden and tragic situation, one that left many of us who loved her shocked. She left behind an amazing husband and one-year old boy, both of whom she loved with all her heart!
Even though I know, without a shadow of a doubt, my dear Katherine is in heaven today, enjoying our Abba Father, thoughts of her still cause the tears to flow down my cheeks. So, in memory of one of the best friends I have ever had the pleasure of enriching my life, here are some of those memories that I will cherish until we meet again….
The last two pictures are with her husband, Jared and little Nathan Charles Bowman. Please keep them in your prayers, as they will miss their wife and mommy sooooo much!!!
Katherine: you were a wonderful woman, wife, mother, sister, daughter, photographer… and to me, most of all you were the bestest of friends!
Once again, Max does not disappoint with his new book, Fearless. He is able to take many current-day situations that cause many of us fear, and break them down in a way that only Max could. There were so many “I can relate to that” moments“, which is what I absolutely adore about his writing.
I thought I would try something a little different with this review, so I picked out some of my favorite “nuggets” placed throughout the pages….
Prayer is the practice of sitting calmly in God’s lap and placing our hands on his steering wheel. He handles the speed and hard curves and ensures safe arrival. And we offer our requests; we ask God to “take this cup away.” This cup of disease, betrayal, financial collapse, joblessness, conflict, or senility. Prayer is this simple.
Courage is fear that has said its prayers.
Everything will work out in the end. If it’s not working out, it’s not the end.
Fear loves a good stampede. Fear’s payday is blind panic, unfounded disquiet, and sleepless nights. Fear’s been making a good living lately.
Acknowledge threats but refuse to be defined by them.
And, probably my favorite part is when he writes about us putting Christ in a box. I loved how he looked back, and examined this trend from the very time he walked on this earth.
His Palestinian contemporaries tried, mind you. They designed an assortment of boxes. But he never fit one. They called him a revolutionary; then he paid his taxes. They labeled him a country carpenter, but he confounded scholars. They came to see his miracles, but he refused to cater. He defied easy definitions. He was a Jew who attracted Gentiles. A rabbi who gave up on synagogues. A holy man who hung out with streetwalkers and turncoats. In a male-dominated society, he recruited females. In an anti-Roman culture, he opted not to denounce Rome. He talked like a king yet lived like a pilgrim. People tried to designate him. They couldn’t. We still try.
Being the fashion lover that I am, I subscribe to the InStyle and Vogue fashion blogs to see the newest and latest in fashion. One of my favorite sections on InStyle is something they call “We’re Obsessed! If money were no object….”
I love looking at the amazing shoes and boots, the incredible jewelry, and the “must haves” of the season; but it all comes with a catch. Each item is designer made, making a pair of Swarovski Idomeneo Crystal Pocket Binoculars a mere $1000. Or what about a Judith Leiber Maharaja Elephant Minaudier (basically a small clutch) only $6,000.
I mean, come on…. are you kidding me? $1000 for a pair of binoculars??? With that elephant evening clutch you can feed an entire African village for a year!
To most of us living on this earth, “if money were no object” will never be a phrase we can actually completely comprehend. Money IS an object; and unfortunately, one that speaks loudly about how we live our lives.
When was the last time you looked on a website and saw the header, “if money were no object….” and the items were something like: Build a school for orphans in India: $6,000… or Send a homeless alcoholic to rehab for 6 months: $1,000. How many of us would actually keep on scrolling through the list, wishing we had the money to purchase our favorite option… or would we go back to wondering if those boots would look good with our favorite pair of jeans?
This Sunday is Jack’s big two-night return….season 8 of 24! 24 is by far my favorite show, and its the ONLY one I actually buy the season pass on Itunes for.
All my years of living outside the States, I never felt compelled to buy season passes. I had friends in Africa who would buy the season passes of Lost, Heroes, The West Wing; but it wasn’t until I got hooked on 24, when I decided I couldn’t wait for the DVD’s.
Last year was my first ever season pass, and this year I’ve already downloaded season 8. I justify it as the one “perk” I’m allowed to splurge on while I’m away from everything else.
So, while Monday nights might be when you’re enjoying Jack over on your side of the pond, Tuesday nights are mine. (It doesn’t download for us until the final west-coast showing has been played). Finally, a good reason to look forward to a Tuesday
One of the biggest issues the refugees I work with face is not being able to find jobs. With the economy as it is (and I know this is a problem many people face today) not being permitted to work (no work visa) makes it even more difficult for them to support themselves and their families.
The other day I was riding my bus to school in the morning and I saw a woman that comes to the Food Distribution each week. I smiled and waved at her; she smiled and waved back, acknowledging my presence on the bus.
After a few stops people got off, so I went back and stood next to where she was sitting. We greeted each other and I asked her what she was doing all the way on the north side of the city. She told me she found a job for the week, cleaning a house in Ramat Aviv. I was so excited to hear she found some work, even if it was only for a week. We then continued to converse in our broken Hebrew until we arrived at the University and I got off.
The funny thing, throughout the ride, was the way people were looking at us. I can only image what we looked like: two very odd peas in a pod… one American girl and one Eritrean refugee speaking in a language that is neither their own.
But for me it was comfort.
Though the differences were clear and obvious to most, for me they didn’t exist on that ride: There were no color differences…. no boundary or origin differences…. no language differences… no status differences….
There were only two friends… talking about life, family, jobs, etc. on a bus in the morning hours of the day.
And I jumped off that bus happy…..
Because, this is what makes everything else WORTH it all!
We were discussing women and fashion during my Ottoman Empire class this week, while looking at some old newspaper cartoons of how fashion was expressed during the day, and what it meant as a cultural statement. This one was my favorite, for various reasons, but for the most part it still holds true for today.
The way we judge others and their fashion/culture has not changed so much since the Ottoman Empire, and I might even be as bold as say that its gotten even worse.
This cartoon says it all! Its translated from the original Arabic to English at the bottom, but you’ll notice that both the Muslim lady and the European one are basically saying the same thing to each other, without us knowing exactly who is saying what.
When was the last time you passed judgement on someone because they didn’t look or dress like you THINK they should? Do you realize that while you are passing judgement on them, they could just as well be passing judgement on you? This is dealing with much more than just fashion here…
When it comes to expectations in relationships, think about the people in your life: friends, family, marriage, dating, work/school acquaintances. What sort of standards and expectations do you put on them?
I tend to have extremely high expectations for the people most important to me…..too high, I think. I’m almost pretty sure that no one can even live up to these expectations I have placed on them. {I’ve even been told, by more than one person, “I’m sorry that I can’t live up to your expectations.”OUCH!}
And here’s the thing: When I expect someone to do/be someone I think they should be, I’m always ending up disappointed and hurt when it turns out they can’t live up to it. I try to justify myself by saying, “ I have standards“…. but seriously,
Are my standards too high?
Of which I’m pretty sure the answer is yes.
And I truly don’t know what I can do to change that. (but I know I have to do something…)
Its becoming a new tradition for me to spend Christmas Eve in Bethlehem…this was my 2nd year trekking across the border for the festivities. Its crazy to try to imagine how it was back then, compared to now; but my mind wandered back to the night when HE was born (standing on the same ground will do that do you).
This year there were TONS of people there. I think the fact that the weather was nicer this year, brought out more locals (and by locals, I mean Men. Women were few and far between). As I stood looking toward the crowd, I thought, “and what a contrast to the few animals that were there to witness his birth..”
I had other moments that took me back. Moments of, “I can’t believe I’m seeing this here” like the infamous STARS and BUCKS coffee shop (close enough to attract Starbucks lovers, but not close enough to break any infringement rights). Can you imagine if Mary was like, “Oh, Stars and Bucks!!!” We traveled all this way, I could really use a cup of Stars and Bucks coffee to get me through this…” hehehe. (ok, well even if Mary wouldn’t have been excited, I sure was)
And of course, we all have this nice little image of what it was like that night… in a cute little manger, surrounded by the shepherds, wise men, donkeys, sheep, and the shining star on top. I’m sure our pop culture plays a big part in that; but as I stood, posing next to the famous “nativity scene” in front of the Arab Christian tourist shop I actually took a moment to imagine what it was really like that night.
More or less, likely in a small cave or some sort…cold…smelly…dark…birth-pains…
This is how our Savior was born.
And I was humbled.
For as I looked all around me, 2000 + years later, I saw an extreme of opposites surrounding me. Now versus then.
But ONE thing remains the same: The REASON! His LOVE remains the same both then and now. He came for them; He came for us. He died for you; He died for me. No matter how much our world changes, for better or worse, this one constant will remain the same….and I love HIM even more today than yesterday.
Bethlehem is a wonderful place to be on Christmas Eve, and I hope the tradition continues for years to come, but the location is just that…. a location. What matters is what’s in our ❤! That is the truth of Christmas! Much love to all of you, from my beloved Bethlehem!
