At any given day I am many different things to many different people. The role we play in life is consistently changing, and finding a balance isn’t always the easiest task to achieve.
Sometimes I struggle with the question of “Who am I?” because the truth is, it’s not always a simple black and white issue.
I can wake up in the morning feeling moody and crabby, and the next morning feeling full of hope and joyous… but that’s not Who I Am… that’s How I Feel.
Take away all the mood swings, all the good and bad days, put me in Africa, South America, or the Middle East, and the core of me should still remain the same.
So Who am I??? Take a look:
Ur turn… Who are you???
(I made this fun word puzzle at Wordle. Check it out and if you make your own I’d love to see it!)
I haven’t been blogging much lately. I haven’t had much to say. There’s been a lot on my mind, but it needed to stay there.
This month my blogging has pretty much reflected my life. I’ve spent a lot of time alone, which in the past would have killed me. Now I’m beginning to enjoy it, understand it, even crave it. Seasons come and go in life, and I like to call this one ‘Silence is Golden‘.
I’m about to embark in a whole new direction, which in and of itself is scary and exciting… but unknown. I have no idea where it will take me or how it will end, but either way I’m ready to dive in.
I look back and thank God for this time of Silence in my life. Though it has been painful at times, it’s also shown me SO much of what I’ve needed to see and experience. It’s prepared me for the upcoming days, when I fear there won’t be much Silence at all. It has given me a glimpse into who I am and who I’ve become.
Thanks for sticking with me, even when my posts have been few and sporadic. We all need moments in life to sit back, listen, reflect, and be Silent.
For me, Silence TRULY is Golden.
Last year I was enjoying a fine-dining dinner of KFC, thanks to the generosity of Thrive Africa staff in South Africa. The year before that…in the bush of Botswana (sadly, no KFC or anything else remotely close).
Another year, another birthday, another country.
This year I am 34!
I tend to look at birthdays in a negative light, don’t ask me why. I guess its the getting older part that doesn’t suit me too well, and unfortunately I have this ‘glass half empty’ attitude when it comes to this day. I think things like…
‘No husband, no kids, no house with the picket fence, no dog….’ etc.
I do it every year, and every year I end up a tinge bit disappointed. But this year I am vowing to look at it from the ‘glass half full’ attitude (or at least I’m going to attempt to). Instead of thinking of the things I don’t YET have, I am going to make a list of the things I have been incredibly blessed to experience throughout my 34 years on this earth. I’m turning over a new birthday leaf.
As we say in Hebrew…. la chaim! (to life!)
A friend asked me recently, “If you could only read one book of the Bible for the rest of your life, which would you choose.” For me it would be Psalm(s). This has always been my favorite book and source of strength during many difficult times.
What would yours be (and why)?
My Aunt sent me this video via email in memory of my cousin, Matt. He was only a couple months older than I am, but is now in heaven. He passed away unexpectedly when I was in Africa, so I was not able to attend the funeral; but I have thought about him often since that day. This video really is beautiful and the message is so true. Please take a minute to watch through it…you will be glad you did.
Last night I was invited to my friend, Jackie’s house, for a get together dinner with her team who recently went to Botswana. The cherry on top was that another friend, who was a missionary at LBOM too, was also coming. Their family actually now lives close to where my parents live, so we were able to carpool up to Grand Rapids.
I was able to see her 3 kids again and spend time talking about our stint in Bots. I also got to see pics and videos of the team’s trip there. It was such a lovely night…not to mention the awesome food Jackie made!
On the ride home, Patricia and I talked about our time in Africa and what we missed (and didn’t miss). It was really nice to be able to share with someone who truly “understands” and who shared some of the same experiences I had. It was so wonderful to hear how she was doing and see the kids getting soooo much bigger! Thanks, Jackie…for bringing us together again!!!
For some reason my kids from Brazil have been on my mind as of late. I absolutely loved them to death and I miss them so much. I think about them and wonder how they are doing, while at the same time trying not to face the fact that they are so much older and bigger now. I know we can’t live in the past, but I sometimes wish time wouldn’t fly by so fast.